motherhood

WHO DESERVES YOUR LOVE THE MOST ?

As a mom, I tend to put myself behind others in the family, don’t you? Just because, I am a MOM. It’s in my nature to nurture and care the offsprings.

Who’s the first waking up in the morning?

Who’s the last closing their eyes at night?

Who’s the last person sitting on the dinner table?

Who’s the first person leaving the dinner table?

I don’t know about YOU. But these sounds like ME in everyday life. I tick all the boxes there – so I deserve a win I guess (on their eyes). Yes babe! You do! Take all the credits. I say it once again, take all the credits!

Ha….It took me only 3 years to understand this very word –

“I deserve all the credits”

I spent too many times hating and beating myself hard for not lifting up my performances to my expectations. Many nights, I sat on the corner of my bed crying out of guilts. Many hours, I sobbed pitying my life with dirty nappies and mess kitchen. Many occasions, I let others opinion overwrite my joy.

Then, a moment lights up – one night I sent J to bed as per usual, we planned to do all the bedtime routine as normal. The day was quite intense that day, and my face had turned red at the time, @#%3hdie&&! filled my brain. In the middle of our book reading, J told me “mommy, you should leave me now and go to work.” Then I replied, “wha do you mean?” J insisted “you should go to work, so you’ll get some money, and you will buy me toy, won’t you?”

I stopped there – AND yeah I realised that I can not pour out of an empty cup nor half empty cup. Others could feel the anger and disappointment within my soul. My child, he can sensed it. And that is the LAST thing you would let them feel; your negative vibe. No matter how hard you try to cover it from them, whatever you keep in your heart will ooze to the surface.

So, I quickly learn to love myself first before I can love others surround me.

^{Luke 10:27}The man answered, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
– Luke

Here was clearly stated to love your neighbors as yourself – how can you love others without knowing the art of loving yourself first? It is not an easy decision for me to put myself above others. However, I understand the significant impact it could bring onto others life today. SO, I CHOOSE TO LOVE MYSELF FIRST THIS VALENTINE’S DAY.

4 PRACTICAL STEPS ON HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF

1. SAY 3 THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF TODAY

Trust me! It is not as easy as it sounds!! ;(

Do yourself a quick test:

(in 5 seconds) mention 5 of your strengths / things you would die to keep in your life forever

(in 5 seconds) mention 5 of your weaknesses /something you wish you could change in life

Which questions you get all 5 in time?!

It is was easier to judge ourself than to appreciate ourself in life. We tend to train our brain by traits. By forcing myself to think hard about things I love about myself these days is the best healing force I have ever done.

2. BE GRACIOUS TO YOURSELF

The fact that you are a human. You have feelings and emotions. No one is perfect. Some of us confuse self-love with endless positivity and endless optimism. This will drag you to even hates yourself even more when you assume that we can only be tougher as what the world throw at us.

Allow yourself to be honest with who you are. Forgive yourself for your past deeds, those things you are ashamed of.

Learn to say “it is okay”

It is okay to not get everyone dress up nicely to the church.

It is okay to get a McDonalds for dinner today.

It is okay to leave the dirty dishes till tomorrow morning.

3. TREAT YOURSELFT

This part I love the most. Put your sanity above others. Go get some massage. Fix your nail and toe nails. Have some pretty blow dry at saloon. Enjoy your night outs with the girls.

Because you deserve it. Don’t feel bad about it.

4. SHARE YOURSELF

And only after you have worked out your own personal bumps you can begin to see the diamonds in the rough: your gifts.

Knowing that someone else out there might been through the exact pain/ confusion you were in last weekend. It is always worth to share your story to others. This is another effective way of self- healing; is when you try to be open with yourself. Being vulnerable is not a weak indication of a person, is a strong point of someone.

Find a medium or platform or group where you can give your experiences and take some tips and tricks about mothering/ parenting. It is always calming to have someone like-minded who gets your back through thick and thin.

So, here I am sharing my journey on this platform, believing that I am never alone in this, and would love to be someone else’s buddy on this journey called motherhood.

Connect with me on :
Instagram (@mamaonrepeat)
Pinterest (mamaonrepeat)

Lastly, here’s the answer to above question.

YOU!

It is you who deserves your love the most ! Remember that ! xx

Much love,

Kenny

IT IS OKAY TO NOT HAVE ANY RESOLUTIONS THIS YEAR

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

First few days of 2019 and I was panting already, felt like I just had a good 30 mins running sesh. Ha. Who’s with me?

Yes! New Year could be overwhelming sometimes as we’re skimming thorough others’ profiles, reading through others’ captions, listening to others’ podcasts – which loaded with so many NEW RESOLUTIONS & NEW GOALS. Meanwhile…we find ourself stuck with (still) another opened grocery lists for the week. Please, don’t feel so small on this. You are not alone. At least I am feeling this, I am overwhelmed by all the resolutions I read on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. I feel I am behind others. And I tell you… it’s not a good feeling. I’ve been forcing myself these past few days finding ways to press the juices out of my head, to come up with some new resolutions; however I ended up with more pressure than before.

I had always start my year with some lists of big resolutions but at the end of the year NOT all of them were even close to reality. Some of them were far to reach or somehow I was making the wrong decision at some point of the journey that cost me a business opportunity.

It is hard to accept but I’ve learned that one failure does not make you a loser. Tomorrow is a brand new day! Get up, turn up, be awesome, repeat!

Hence, it is okay to NOT have any resolutions this year. Just keep doing what you’re doing today – better, faster, harder, further, more efficient, more intensional.

There’s nothing wrong to keep being a stay at home mum with 3 kids under 5 yo – just plan the weekly meal a week earlier than last year

There’s nothing wrong to keep “patience” in your resolution list – just control mind and emotion better than last year

There’s nothing wrong with working for the same company since forever – just work harder on your presentation won’t hurt

There’s nothing wrong with your gym membership, just need a little more commitment to smash the gym 3 days a week

Learn to appreciate every small win you have achieved today. Grow the confidence within you. And kick some ass. And be surprised of how far your commitments / good habits / positive intentions will take you closer to your dreams.

Here are my top 5 daily commitments for 2019:

be more organised with my “free time” – less phone usage, more reading
wake up 15 minutes earlier than usual
use more journal to plan my day
drink more water
regular house declutters every quarter

So, whether you have some thing/area to improve this year, whether you are trying live a better quality life this year, or whether you are praying to go bigger with your business? I would like to encourage you to stop worrying of the peer pressure and start working on your dreams. Start this year with new COMMITMENTS. Things you have decided in your heart and work on it on daily basis. I truly believe in my heart that you will see the harvest of your labour in its due time.

Share some of your commitments for this year to below on the comment. I would like to hear from you and be part of your journey towards your dreams.

Once again… HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hope this year will bring you so much happiness and fulfilment into your life. BRING ON 2019!

Love,

Kenny

MOTHERHOOD TRAP

Well, finally they were asleep… Where should I start?

Expectation: 1) clean the crumbs on the floor, disinfect the high chair 2) load the laundries onto washing machine 3) cook dinner 5) wash the dishes 6) clean the toilet 7) hang the laundries 8) tidy up the toys.

Reality: 1) make a warm cuppa 2) sit on my favourite couch 3) fashion magz and iPhone on both hands until I hear the weird noise from the other room.

Gap: Motherhood Trap

Yes, this is motherhood trap

The feeling to be and do everything, all the time. Oh I am serious on this! This feeling is toxically good. I mean on one side you may feel superior for becoming the primary carer for the house/family. However, on the other side you may end up burning yourself up with responsibilities.

NOPE! I refuse to be overwhelmed with my role as a mother. Motherhood is supposed to be enjoyed, not endured. Often times the gap between our expectation and the reality is getting bigger and bigger. And if you’ve never decided to address and treat this issue well, this will only trigger the crap out of you. Because you will always feel defeated by your situation which eventually will crack you under pressure.

Because hey mummas…. It’s a world of contrasts. We’re being pulled in a thousand different directions everyday; having a battle between being a mum or a cook, a mum or a cleaner, being a mum or career woman, a mum or a wife ALL DAY LONG. Perhaps, I should put it this way, we are literally trapped in a several worlds, holding the laundry basket on hip, walking the puppies, holding it all together and there is no way of pleasing everyone.

Yes, this is motherhood trap

It is complicated – new mums, if only we can simply sleep while the baby sleeps. For me, I know that is the only time I can get my things done (households and works). Everyday is full of choices and sacrifices. And with each choice came, unbidden, a sense of guilt or regret or anxiety: Maybe I should have played with the kids instead of cooking dinner? Maybe I should have tidied the house instead of having a lie-down?

Yes, this is motherhood trap

There is no way we can avoid this situation. BUT, there some ways we can rise up to the occasions. So, let me share 2 TRUTHS ABOUT YOU, MUM:

1. You are a capable mother NOT a perfect mother

A mother can do anything but not everything. Always keep in your mind that you can not get everything on top of you. Do things one at a time, by following these steps:

Make a day to day to-do-list to simplify your tasks (categorise them based on your priorities),
cross each task you have done, and
do a quick review at night, lastly
celebrate every small wins you have done in a day.

2. What you do today will never devalue your identity as a mother

Whatever choices you make today come with consequences. Never feel less about yourself. Believe on what you choose is for the benefits of the family. And in case you just had a bad day, please don’t milk it for too long. Stop a moment, take a deep breath and move on. You’ve still got many mothering things to do.

THUS…LET’S CLIMB OUT OF THIS MOTHERHOOD TRAP

Love,

Kenny

3 ODD THINGS TO THRIVE MOTHERHOOD

Do you find motherhood challenging? Do you feel inadequate for the role? Are you scared? Are feeling frustrated? How much sleep do you get this week? How many coffee do you finish a day?

and the list goes on…

Growing up I always want to be a mother. I love kids, and they love me. Not until I had my first child; not knowing what actual motherhood was like, and being afraid to talk about it with anyone. Everything started to change – one by one, little by little, day by day. How life changing and how emotionally complex a time it is for women – the powerful change of identity new mothers go through, the isolation of post-partum depression, and the on-going attachment. But it is still by far the greatest accomplishment I have ever achieved in my life. *pat on the back*

We all know being a mother is never an easy job. Unlike 9 – 5 regular job, it requires all of your time, mind, energy, soul – ALL OF YOU. You can’t leave when you don’t feel like doing it. Everyday is a battle between mind and soul. Some peer pressures may add the nerves within you.

When all those things collide, I learnt quickly that in order for me to survive motherhood is by doing it my way.

And some of the ways are not ordinary to most ears. It might SHOCK most of the new mothers or soon to be a mother. So, are you ready?? These are my 3 ODD THINGS ON HOW TO SURVIVE MOTHERHOOD

YOU DON’T ALWAYS NEED AN ANSWER TO ALL YOUR QUESTIONS

Human brains, especially mom brains, in general don’t like dealing with ambiguity. We want to (believe that we) make decisions based on knowing all the facts.

Why does my 24 months old baby has suffer from sleep regression? When can you start introducing sugars to a child? What is the best gap between your first and second child? How can I remain calm when my toddler’s screaming and slamming her head on the wall during the groceries? Should I give my kid iPad and video games?

Unfortunately, this motherhood journey comes with no manual book, no contract, no insurance. There is no right or wrong, black or white. Every curiosity, every perplexity, every anxiety, every scarcity – these feelings are valid but not definite. There’s always a pro and contra to your questions. And that is okay. These should not affect your decision making process. Because remember you are doing motherhood for yourself and your children, NOT for other monsters.

So, calm down…stop putting all the pressures on yourself – to get everything fixed on the tip of your finger. Your brain may filled with 963,815 questions a day, your heart may rushed to 225 km/hr but you gotta accept the fact that some questions may not be answered instantly TODAY. But, ONE DAY you will get there. ONDE DAY you will understand why does thing happen accordingly in the past. Even when you find NO answer to your ambiguity, my one piece of advice, never give up on this hood called motherhood.

You are never alone on this journey, you are not the only clueless person on this crazy road. Ask around, speak up, and stay positive. You don’t need to figure out these puzzles alone today.

ONE PLUS ONE DOES NOT NECESSARILY TWO

What does motherhood to do with this complicated mathematical riddle. THAT’S IT! It is complicated. What I mean by this is not everyone will understand and accept this fact. SO, bear with it!! 1 + 1 = 3 ; this statement bothers most of mathematicians, it intrigued them to proof that it is true. However, to most of us – common people, we don’t really care on this debate.

And this is exactly what I feel about modern motherhood. Not everybody could understand the physical and mental struggles a mother has to face everyday. I am talking about SAHM, working moms, mom of one or twins, single moms. WE ARE ALL MOTHERS. We are all putting the same effort to raise our kids. We are all moving towards one purpose. But sadly, nowadays, the society often times try to part us into different segments. Then, the next day we wake up in mothers rivalry. Who are doing better and who are working harder?

To me, no matter what! All mothers are a super woman (full stop). They are the first one to wake up in the morning – the last one to to lay her head on bed. They gave up their body, they gave up their sleeps, they gave up their freedom, they gave up their space, they gave up their moments, they gave up their life for just one breath. They are the most selfish person on this entire world. AND I RESPECT ALL OF YOU. YOU ARE MY HERO.

That is why this topic annoys me a lot. And I feel that I had to speak up for myself. This is me explaining 1 + 1 = 3 is possibly true. The society has their own perception on motherhood. So do us, we have our own voice about motherhood. Do not let it break us, instead let the similarity unite us. So next time, when the society says you should not go back to work until at least your baby 12 months old OR they might question the things you are doing with your kids at home today, look at them in the eyes and share your voice confidently.

This journey is not meant for the weak. This gig is designed for those who are committed. This road is build for those who are willing to go extra miles, those who are open-minded, those who are extraordinaire, those who are brave enough to take the risk.

REMEMBER THIS

Bottom line: Motherhood is not for anyone. And you are blessed to be one of its special breed.

BREAK THE RULES

YES! You hear this. BREAK THE RULES> rules are there in the first place to be broken, right? jkjkjk

With the firstborn I used to do everything textbook / Google accordingly. Unfortunately, with the second one, I have got very minimal time to follow step 1 to 10. Many times I skipped the step 1 to 6, jumped onto 7 straight away. Or otherwise, I would find Jared with another lollies in his mouth or bubbles on his throat.

Thus, I quickly learnt in order to survive motherhood, I gotta learn how to break the rules. The rules of breast feed vs bottle feed. The rules of co-sleep or crib sleep. The rules of BLW vs spoon feeding. The rules of spanking vs time out.

At this time round, I choose to do whatever works best for the me and my kids at the time. I know I used to be strict with routines. But, let’s be honest, routines are draining. For those who are having zero support system other than your husband in the house, living with routines and kids are hard work. I used up all my energy in yelling and chasing my toddlers rather than enjoying the magical moments we may create in between.

So quick updates on my life lately:

I don’t only breast feed. I combine breast feed and bottle feed Asher (depends on the circumstances). Mostly when I’m home during day time I breast feed him exclusively. And he’s happy to take either breast and bottle. So, I am happy too.
I stop sterilise bottles and other baby utensils – just because it takes forever to me to get ready. Boiling water is the way I roll these days.
I do half co-sleep with Asher just because I have already set up a cot for him inside the boys room and our bed is not spacious enough to fit another human on it. (We definitely need an upgrade to super King size). So, first half of the night, Asher will spend his sleep on his cot on the boys room, when he wakes up for night feeding, I will take him with me till the morning.
I slap and yell at Jared. But I don’t prefer to make that as my first response towards his daily misbehaviour. I ask him for time out at the first place then if he did the same mistake for the second time round, I have to give him a punishment as the consequence of his action. Then, I do reconciliation every night before bed with him then we pray together.

My advice to all mothers of one, two, three or many more. Your intuition is your best weapon. Follow them and wear them with pride.

Never ever feel sorry for breaking the rules, instead feel sorry for yourself for breaking down your mental health by following the rules.

Mama your way is the only way you do motherhood.

There is no hood like motherhood. Wishing you all the best and luck in thriving this gig. X

Love,

Kenny

MOTHER OF BOYS – SWEET & SOUR

Life with kids…. hhmmmm…. how can I picture those?!

Let’s say it’s like playing poker. It’s so inviting and colorful, then you started to play with it and screwed it many times, yet you keep playing cause it’s so addictive, and perhaps you hit the jackpot in the next leg run.

Life with kids. One day is sweet. Some days are sour. They complete and compliment one another, they create a bunch of beautiful memories in our minds to ponder with. And here are some of mine from last weekend.

sweet //

1. Love the sun shine and my cosy bed (I wish I could sleep longer over the weekend) // 2. Morning jamming – J with his praise list and drum sticks; inseparable // 3. J and his kitchen corner // 4. J cooked some delish food for mommy // 5. One expressive boy I have right there // 6. Food-tasting by mommy // 7. Steak – salad – organic sweet potato chips for the night // 8. Messina run with the squad; our all time fave.

sour //

9. Is it early for teething? Unsettled bub for the past 2 days, nursing all day // 10. The moment Asher finally fell asleep on his bouncer – J came striking with his jump & loud voice – gave no room for peace // 11. Raspberry ice cream is too sour for my liking – J chose this flavour and asked me to finish it 😦 // 12. one sec before the accident happened because J can’t read the STOP sign yet and he hated loosing // 13. The moment before Asher spitted on my jacket. #donotgetfooledbyhisinnocentlook #hesdangerous // 14. Too excited to do floss dance till he lost balance and hit his head on the metal lounge // 15. It’s hard to find a baby changing room in Surry // 16. Okay..let’s take picture together – J; NO! I don’t want to be your friend, you talked too much TT

Love,

Kenny

#FASHIONFRIDAY – DENIM GANG FEATURING ERGOBABY OMNI 360

The colder weather is officially hit. And we’re just done with packing our shorts and summer tanks. However, there’s this one item which always stay in our closets; denim jacket. Who doesn’t love a good piece of denim? It is one of the best buy of my life; I can pair it with almost anything – when in doubts wear denim. So, clearly, this week we had no idea what to wear for the photoshoot, so let it be denim. Gah. Hahahaha

It was such a nice warmer day yesterday and thank God for hubby’s day off. He took me and the kids out to Bicentennial Park to get some fresh air. Jared’s enjoying the walk with his scooter and mommy with her koala featuring the new range of Ergobaby Omni 360 – all positions baby carrier improved with new design and cool air mesh fabric.

Cooler for parents and baby with breathable full body mesh.
One-handed adjustment to switch from baby facing in to facing out.
Ergonomic seat grows from newborn to toddler (7-45 lbs)
Crossable shoulder straps & lumbar support waist belt for long-wearing comfort.
Cushioned head & neck support and baby hood for sun protection & privacy.
Detachable storage pouch

Also, it comes in 4 new gorgeous colours; oxford blue (as pictured), midnight blue, khaki green, pearl grey

Ergobaby has been a part of our family since Jared was born. He travelled in it pretty much. But I have to admit, the old fabric is way too thick and heavy. Then, I got a chance to try new range of Omni 360 and super love with it. Even hubby proved it loud, “this piece is amazing.” I love the new fabric, it is thinner and breathable; it keeps baby comfortably close to parents for a long period of time. The improved neck support is perfect for newborn, which means saying good bye to infant insert. Plus point – detachable pouch is quite generous in size, fit in for some mom’s essentials; phone, purse, key and dummy.

Happy baby. Happy mommy. Asher’s sleeping really well under my Ergo, letting my both hands free to catch Jared when it’s needed. 😉

Do you have any favourite baby wearing for exploring or travelling? Leave them on the comments below.

Kenny: Denim Jacket (an op-shop in Japan), white pants (Topshop), Shoes (Stradivarius), Earrings (Colette by colette hayman)

Andri: Denim Jacket (Pull & Bear), Pants (Topshop), Shoes (Adidas Stan Smith)

Jared: Denim shirt (Cotton On Kids), Hooded Grey Tee (BONDS), Triangle leggings (Etsy), Shoes (Adidas)

Love,

Kenny

7 TIPS TO GET YOUR KIDS TO SLEEP ALONE

I have to say how happy I am to tuck in a happy kid in bed after 3 years of needing to lay with him till he fell into very deep sleep OR many times I ended up waking up on his bed.

Does it sounds familiar in your household? Then maybe these tips are for you or at least letting you know that it’s possible. Cause I doubted it too. 😉

But, today I am proudly say that these tips do good to us, as a husband and wife, a father and mother. We wake up feeling good.

7 TIPS TO GET YOUR KIDS TO SLEEP ALONE

1. REASON

Always give your kid a reason behind your action.

I used to say to him that “he is now a big boy, he is brave, etc.” But somehow, it didn’t work. Telling him the fact of his present existence isn’t really helpful.

Then, I tried to use a different approach, “blame others”. I told Jared, that the doctor wants mommy and daddy to sleep at mommy’s bed so baby could have a nice sleep without being possibly kicked by him. While daddy’s need to help mommy in case mommy need to pee at night. He somehow got this idea and let us sleep in our bedroom.

I am not suggesting you to tell any lies to your kids, give them more specific reason which weight on others than YOU, parents. Because kids, they are tend to regards others/strangers highly than their closest ones.

2. REWARD

It is time to congratulate them for their successful effort. By giving them a reward. A sticker, kinder egg, lollies, anything on their top list will do. Because who doesn’t love acknowledgement?! Even a small reward will help to boost the confidence of your minis.

I used to have a sleep tracker stuck on Jared’s bedroom wall. It’s a monthly calendar filled with stickers. 1 sticker for 1 successful night. Every night before bed I always point out to that “sleep track calendar” to remind him of how close he is from getting all the stickers collection.

3. REDUCE

If you happened to get used to stay at your kids room until they fell asleep, you might want to try to reduce your stay inside.

Find an excuse to get out of their room with a promise to come back afterwards.
Be specific in what you are going to do and when are you coming back.

For example: Mommy needs to throw some laundries to the drier, be back for 5 minutes. Mommy needs to use the toilet to do #2, I promise I’ll be finished in 5 minutes max. Mommy needs to call aunty XX to arrange our playdate tomorrow, be back in 7 minutes. Then, please make sure you’re back at the right time.

My point is this; try to reduce your stay inside your kids’ room to loosen the their attachment before sleep with you. Make them used to with the new (alone) environment.

Do this gradually. A drastic change may cause a shock to your child’s mental. Give time for your child to process the new forms and informations you are trying to implement in the house. Again, it’s all about the progress not the process. We’ve started with 3 minutes – 5 minutes – 10 minutes – standing on his door – 15 minutes – to not coming back because all we can hear is silent.

4. RELY ON THEM

Rely on their choices. They know what works best for them. They know what makes them comfortable most. Let them do it their way. Involve them in the process, count their opinions.

Every time (still today) before I leave the room, I always throw questions to Jared on how he would like to set the mood inside his room which will help him to send him help faster.

do you want me to leave your water bottle next to you or may I take it with me?
do you want me to cover your whole body with blanket or just your feet?
do you want me to turn off or leave the lights on?
do you want me to close or leave the door open?

I realised, by allowing Jared to has input in some of the minor decisions, he can begin to feel important and have confidence in their abilities to do so.

5. REINFORCE

Do not forget to send good vibes in the morning post a successful night.

“Mommy and Daddy had such a very good night, and baby were happy too.”

“Mommy is feeling really good this morning, can’t wait to have more fun with you.”

Give the positive credits to your kids as a reassurance of their brave action. “Because of you, I can ________________” (fill in the gap).

6. RESTRAINT

This is the hardest part. One night must be easy. The other nights must be super challenging. One thing to remember, stand on your ground. Restraint on your feet. Do not give in.

There were nights when I had to send him to his room back and forth 20 times; which were very frustrating both physical and emotional. There were nights I ended up raising my voice. BUT, I stand on my belief, that WE (Jared and mommy) can do this together. Both parents and kids need to support one another in order to succeed this challenge.

7. REPEAT

Repeat above steps again and again.

After approximately 60 days of training, consist of repetition of some bedtime routines (which I will post in details next week), we finally made it. Through this repetition, Jared was improved his confidence. The new routine had been set up. And we can’t be more proud and happier than this.

These routine is really helpful for me especially with the addition of the newborn in the house, I am able to get more works done around the house.

Above routine is best to apply for those of you who are not doing co-sleep. Including me, I and hubby chose to choose crib-sleep and keep our bed as our sanctuary. Read more about our crib-sleep journey here.

Above approach isn’t a sleep training, this is for toddlers who has been sleeping through the night without needing any bottle or still weaning. This does not requires a tough love. This requires a lot of patience, assurance, and explanations. Each toddler may not sit at the same level of readiness. Some toddlers, they need more time to adapt, while others may take it instantly.

Nonethless, one key to rememeber; is to keep doing it, and doing it right. You can’t do it for 3 days straight, then stop for the whole week. You gotta be consistent in implementing this new lifestyle.

If you find these tips helpful, leave your comments below. Or you might wanna share some of your tips too, I am more than happy to hear that. Happy trying!! May you have some good quality pillow talks with your partner. Time to mend the romance back. X

Love,

Kenny

ASHER LIONEL TJUNG

ASHER LIONEL TJUNG – The Easter Baby

July 1, 2018 // 03.20AM // 4.045kg // 53cm

As I heard the his first cry, my heart skipped a bit. What?! Was this even real? I just gave life to a new human. He made such an entrance to the earth. And I am his mother. I fell in love once again. At the first sight….

As the days are approaching, we had a feeling that this baby will make an early debut before his due date for some reason. Since week 36/37 I constantly experience such a strong brixton hicks. Around week 38 – I had some mild cramps with various intervals, I noticed some mucus plug dislodges from my cervix for 4 days in a row with no blood showing. And as I was entering week 39, I felt lightening; where as though I have more room to breathe as the baby laid down low on my bladder, and I felt less movements of the baby; which are normal as the baby’s head got engaged, and still mild cramps.

Thursday, 29th March 2018

I woke up at 7am as usual, feeling excited that maybe today could be the day I get to see my baby. I talked to my baby (my own tummy in real life) every morning, and happy to feel some kicks and hiccups. But, today, it seemed a little odd, no matter how hard or frequent I rubbed my tummy, I didn’t feel any response. I felt no movement of the baby. I waited till mid day, and still nothing changed. I tried to stay positive to calm myself down. Then, I waited a little longer till my husband came home from work. Again, nothing changed. This time, I couldn’t help myself, my brain’s racing, my heart’s screaming, was it what it was? was the baby okay? was the baby sleeping? was the baby still alive? We rang the hospital and they asked us to come for a check up. We dropped off Jared at my aunt’s place and head straight to the hospital.

9.20PM – We arrived at the hospital and I was placed in one of the birthing room, they checked the baby’s movement. She gave me some iced water to wake up the baby too. It took quite some times to wake up the baby. UNTIL…finally he made a little kick. Then it gets more frequent and harder. We were so relieved to feel those punches and kicks again, because we know the baby’s okay. He’s there alive. Praise God!! No nightmare tonight! and we were happy to be sent back home after a boring and long 3 hours TENS monitoring.

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Friday, 30th March 2018

1AM – We arrived at home and had the bed for only two of us that night. Because we let Jared stayed over at my aunt’s place. That was a bliss night for me, just what I needed before the second baby arrive.

9AM – We went to the airport to pick up my mom and my brother who flew from Indonesia the night before. They came here to help me taking care of the house plus Jared while we’re in the hospital. Then, we had our usual Friday going. We took the families out for some walks and dinner. We had some good quality times together.

Saturday, 31st March 2018

2.25AM – I was lounging on my bad catching up on some K-dramas, when suddenly I felt something popped inside my lower tummy. It wasn’t painful, it was distinct. I didn’t know what it was. I reached my pants, it’s completely dry. My mind rushed 1000 miles trying to figured out what it was. 3 seconds later, I suddenly felt a gushed of warm fluid came through my pants. My water broke. I had one of the midwife broke my water with my first pregnancy, so I didn’t expect to experience water break at home and how it sounds or feels or looks like in my mind. I just can’t. Well, I didn’t want to scare myself. But, it happened this time round. I wet my bed, the floor, all the way to my bathroom. Then, we packed our hospital bags, left the house straight to the hospital.

3.15AM – I laid down on one of the hospital bed got while they monitored the baby’s movement. While they’re examining my water discharge. Its pale pink colour and odourless with tiny amount of blood which is very normal, nothing to worry about. BUT, no contraction yet! For this reason, I was sent back home again for another 12 hours.

3.00PM – Arrived back for the third time in the hospital with no signs of labour. It’s tiring. It’s frustrating. 3 false alarms in 2 days were a bit too much. We had our hopes fluctuate here and there. It felt sucks. 😦

Next minute, the midwife came in to our room, she’s telling us to get induced the next morning 6AM. This was the last thing I wanna hear at this moment. I knew how painful it was to get induced, it was shocking and extremely painful. I were not prepared and Jared was unhappy and stressful. Read more on Jared’s birth story. Even though the case was different with my previous pregnancy, induction were still needed to reduce the risk of infection increases dramatically upon baby. So, I left the hospital with a heavy heart. I was scared and worried if I can possibly bear the extreme pain ever again?! As I was planning to brave myself with unmedicated birth this time. I have a birth plan ready to roll. And I know I can do it this time.

5.30PM – I started to feel some mild contractions every 30-45 minutes. as it’s getting stronger, I chose to distract my mind with food. We had a family feast dinner that night at my place celebrating Easter Eve.

9.30PM – the contractions were getting more intense with 15 minutes interval. However, it is still bearable. Then, I prepared myself for bed 2 hours later, jumped onto bed with my phone around 11.20PM

11.50PM – I felt one long horrible contractions, I even (literally) jumped out off my bed. I lost words and gave a hand-sign to Andri that “things are getting real!” then suddenly I felt the urge to poo. But, I refused to take off my undies. I was much aware of having the baby out at that moment with no professional assistance. My first labour lasted for 7 hours, then I thought this one would be done really quick. Let’s get on the freakin car right now!! While Andri’s on the phone with the midwife, I got myself ready and packed my belongings. Then, suddenly I heard Andri told me that we had to wait a bit longer because the hospital was full that night. #notodaydevil “I AM ABOUT TO POPPED! GIVE ME A ROOM!” – I lost it. I grabbed the phone and told her, I AM GOING THERE. This is my second, I can’t wait any longer. Then, she agreed. GAH.

Sunday, 1st April

12.25AM – We arrived at the hospital with one room “just” ready for us. We came in and I laid down on the bed. I took off my pants and undies straight away, getting myself comfortable. Alright….the contractions were getting stronger and stronger. And I was trying my best to keep stay positive throughout the pains and calm myself down by having a deep breath in between. Then, I changed position; on knees with my upper body leaned against the raised back of the hospital bed. I found this position worked best for me as I leaned forward with my hip opened, it actually encouraged the baby to rotate; his face facing my tailbone which means it would reduced the pressure on my tailbone. As it’s get more intense, it was hard to stay calm so I took the epigas. OH MAY GOD! Whoever invented epigas, you are one genius, it was so damn good! I am grateful for you and wanted to celebrate you! It helped me through my rough & rocky stromy hours. You showed up your magic on every deep breath I take.

“You’re 8 cm dilated, great job Kenny!” said the midwife. “Damn!! I lost my chance to get the freaking epidural.” I regretted. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this…..” I murmured to Andri. I lost count on how many times I said this very word. My brain sent me many bundle of limit signals. But it’s funny that my body were doing vice versa, its getting more stable; making a way for the baby to come out.

3:20AM – Next minute, I felt the baby crowning. Yeah baby…I were onto the next position – ready to push. SO did the midwives. Then suddenly, Andri saw the tip of the baby’s head, the next 2 pushes, ASHER LIONEL TJUNG WAS OUT EARTHSIDE with us. Andri cut the cord for the first time, he didn’t get a chance to during the birth of Jared due to some emergency health issue. Read more on Jared’s birth story. What a quick and smooth delivery it was. We were both so joyful and grateful to be trusted with another perfect little chunky man. Last part was pushing my placenta out. It’s easily done smoothly, yet they examined that I experienced quite severe tear after delivery. Asher is a big baby, and it’s common for women who deliver vaginally end up with tear in their perineum that extends to or through the rectum. Unfortunately, in my case, it was slightly bigger than expected, I experienced a third degree perineal tear. It needed to be treated under minor surgery.

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6.30AM – I came back to the birthing room after having an one hour operation, reunited with my little boy. I got to cuddle him was the best thing I could ask for in the world.

I was proud of myself for pulling this unmedicated birthing journey off bravely. Despite of the doubts and fears which were creeping in halfway of the journey. It’s been my desire to try an unmedicated birthing process. And I did it. I COULDN’T BE MORE PROUD OF MYSELF, even though I still had the local anaesthetic injection for my third degree tear treatment, I AM STILL PROUD. By His grace and great supporters around me during the process. I finally made it. Thanks husband for sacrificing your hands as my stress relieve ball. Thanks to all RNSH midwives for ensuring me for my good works and guiding me through my darkest hours.

Asher was very stable and calm during the labour. Unlike my first experience with Jared. Also he made a pretty quick entrance to the world. I am so grateful for him. Such a perfect chunky little man. He injected a pile amount of joy the moment I laid my eyes on him. He’s the real meaning of his own name (Asher means happy). My body was tore but my heart was mended fully. My life is beyond blessed.

YES! This is our family of four. It’s going to be interesting to watch, we believe. 2 boys, 1 man and 1 outnumbered lady. THE TJUNG SQUAD is ready to tackle the world. X

Love,

Kenny

OUR STORY – LAST BUMPDATE BABY #2

Hey humpday!

I am still here in front of my laptop and sipping my second cup of raspberry leaf tea of the day, hoping that it will help the natural inducing process. However, bub has another say, he enjoys being inside mum’s tummy a lil longer. WELL, SO BE IT!! I believe he will come out at the right time when he is ready.

So, let’s move on… today I am going to share my latest bumpdate at #39 weeks and 3 days.

SYMPTOMS

First thing first, let’s celebrate that my baby is officially considered full term! Yeah we made it! We gotta celebrate every small wins in life, aren’t we?

Bub is as big as watermelon. Weight around 3.2 kgs according to the pregnancy application I have been using this time round.

As my bump grows each inch, so does my level of discomfort. Often times, people misrecognized that I’m carrying twins. And no offense, I am totally fine with the statement. I would be more than happy to carry twin girls in the future. Ha. I cannot stand more than 10 minutes. I cannot sit more than 10 minutes. I cannot lie down more than 10 minutes. Every move seems like a dead-end at this point. I have to keep changing positions in order to avoid backache.

I feel a lot lighten at this stage, because the baby has dropped and settled deeper into my pelvis (not fully; getting there). I can breathe more easily than before. Because pressure on my diaphragm has been relieved. As pay-back though, I feel more pressure on my bladder, which means more trip to the bathroom. Especially during night time. However, I read once on the internet this week, way to reduce night trips to the bathroom is by avoiding to take sip of liquid right before you go to bed. And it worked!! So, please keep this in mind all expectant mama.

Stronger and more frequent Braxton hicks contractions, which is commonly known as “false” or “practice” contractions. Braxton Hicks are a tightening in your abdomen that comes and goes. They are contractions of your uterus in preparation for giving birth. For a first time mama, you may or may not notice these events. However, if you do so, don’t get panic. Stay calm, the baby may not come out anytime soon. It could be days or weeks away.

While some women experience insomnia during their third tri-semester. That has never been my case, I am blessed with the ability to sleep anytime anywhere I feel like doing so.

My physical body is getting moody. I would feel very sick some days and very energetic on the other days.

Last but not least, I am on nesting mode most of the days with loaded snacks near me. Don’t judge please.

Clothing

Honestly, this is not my favourite topic to share with. I am comfortably living in my maternity bra, and pyjamas all day at home. When I go out, I prefer to wear one-piece dress than two pieces (maternity legging or jeans and oversized tops). I move more freely with a dress than two-pieces. I have less than 10 options for my daily go-to outfit (mostly dresses). They are from ASOS and H&M. They are made of good fabric and fit me perfectly. For more safety and support for your growing bump, get a maternity shapewear under your dress. It will help you hold the weight of your bump.

Nursery

Latest update on this matter; I decided to go with modern Nordic style, majorly playing with monochrome color; black, white, and grey.

And accidentally, I bought many bear wall and room decorations for baby #2 for no reason, other than I found them cute and trendy. Some are hanged on the wall and styled already, some are still sitting on the box. So, by saying that, I would say the nursery isn’t 100% done; more than halfway done I supposed. And honestly, it doesn’t bother me at all, since we decided to let baby #2 to sleep on bassinet next to our bed for the first few months of adjustment before we transfer him to his own room for a sleep training.

Alright…that’s all for today! I just finished my last sip of tea and I guess I’m feeling it. Yesssss the early contractions. Is it gonna be my last bumpdate for sure?! Ha. Wish us luck. X

Love,

Kenny

THE WORTH OF MATERNITY PHOTOS

It has been a bliss to carry this bun inside my uterus for the past 8 months. And again! I am still stoked of woman’s body; its ability to grow and nurture life. And to realise that it is my own body, it even make it more special to me. I AM BLESSED to experience pregnancies at my age.

For that reason, I am so determined to do maternity shots this time round. I didn’t have one with my firstborn for some and many reasons. And honestly, I do regret for that matter. The more I think about maternity photos, the more I feel that it is worth it to have one. And here’s why?

Celebrate your body

Since the first day, the sperm met the egg, your body has been gearing hard with many adjustments and changes; big and small. For that reason, your body deserves a celebration. 10 months of carrying a watermelon is surely a hard work. So, throw the biggest celebration to your own body. Its doing really well.

Pregnancy is evanescent

I know how the last 4 weeks of pregnancy feels like. It feels like one year or forever. But, hey! the moment the baby’s out, you will surely miss this pregnancy; the burs, the punches, the kicks, the bloats, the heartburns, the craves, the connections. Nothing compares to the deep connection build within a mother and her womb.

Pregnancy is magical

I would say this again and again. Pregnancy is one of the most enchanted moment I have ever experienced. The fertile and maternal glow of a pregnant woman is so beautiful and sexy, I wish more people will see this. Despite the weight gain, stretch marks, hyper-pigmentation or whatever else you’re dealing with, there’s something so strong, maternal and radiant about a pregnant woman.

So, what about you? Are you thinking to have one too? I hope you do and won’t be left with the same regrets like me.

Beyond that, I hope every woman will truly embrace her inner goddess and let them shine!

Thanking my talented husband for taking these stunning photos of us. He is truly the best! He is a keeper, isn’t he? Below we share our moments. enjoy!! x

Dress: Coven & Co, Flowers arrangement: Petals Of Putney

Love,

Kenny