Does the Mommy Monster show up at your house on occasion? When the Mommy Monster yells, her anger affects the whole family. Last year I began to realize she was showing up at my house more than I was comfortable with. Every time she visits the house, suddenly the whole house atmosphere changes; cold and dark. When I examined what dynamics brought the appearance of the Mommy Monster, I realized that my unrealistic expectations were contributing to my craziness. I was not accurately estimating my children’s actual abilities. Bottom line: I WAS EXPECTING TOO MUCH TOO SOON.
Bottom line: I WAS EXPECTING TOO MUCH TOO SOON.
I WAS EXPECTING TOO MUCH TOO SOON
I remembered my lowest point as a mother last year, when I feel so lost, negative, unmotivated, hurtful, and helpless. I was applying rules, boundaries and time-out to my two-year-old. I was training my toddler to sleep through the night on his own room. I just started my small business. I was trying to conceive at the same time. (Read more of my struggle to conceive on Our Story – First Bumpdate)
However, the realities were revolved in contrast.
I was frustrated with with my two-year-old constantly pushing the limits, I was caught up in countless night soothings and sleep deprived. I barely saw any progress/prospects on my new business. I threw many pregnancy tests with one line (-) results.
This well intentioned mom was not accurately estimating her child’s actual abilities nor her own body actual abilities. She expecting too much too soon, which resulted in added stress for herself and her child. Yeahhh…that summed up my life a year ago perfectly. THAT’S ME you are talking about.
I overestimate my child’s ability to exercise self-control, to stay focused on a task, and to handle social situations. It’s normal for a two-year-old to get upset if he doesn’t get something he wants. It’s normal for a three-year-old to lose it if there’s a change in his bedtime routine. It’s normal to see zero progress in the beginning years of your business. It’s normal for my body to have some times to get ready for some major changes.
I LOSE PERSPECTIVE OF WHAT IS NORMAL
Too often, I let my own impatience take the lead and I scold with an angry voice because deep down I expect them to act better than they are. I lose perspective of what is normal behaviour for their age and stage of development. I get angry because they don’t live up to my off-the-charts expectations, and then Mommy Monster shows up full force.
I did not realize that I was being overestimating/ overreacting until my husband told me “Calm down, he’s just turned two…” Often times, I forget the most powerful thing in life; the power of stillness.
When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world. — Eckhart Tolle
There are times for every thing under the heaven; there are times to plant, there are times to harvest, there are times for winter, there are times for summer. Expect something too soon will only give us unripe fruits. Be still and know that God is working relentlessly on behalf of our well intentioned.
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14
Today, I am happier mom. I rarely see the Mommy Monster around the house. I finally had my beauty sleep back because Jared has successfully achieved another milestone in conquering his fear; sleeping through the night on his own bed like a boss. I am growing another human inside my belly. I got my creativity back and found some good networks for the business.
I am uberly excited for this year! BYE MOMMY MONSTER! I hate you as much as I love you. X
If any of you could relate to any of this drama, I just wanted to encourage you to sit back and take a deep breath, count one to ten, then let your mind to rest for while. Everything is gonna be okay. The day will come to pass. It is normal to feel this way, but you are never alone in this tough gig. You are made for this!!