I have to say how happy I am to tuck in a happy kid in bed after 3 years of needing to lay with him till he fell into very deep sleep OR many times I ended up waking up on his bed.
Does it sounds familiar in your household? Then maybe these tips are for you or at least letting you know that it’s possible. Cause I doubted it too. 😉
But, today I am proudly say that these tips do good to us, as a husband and wife, a father and mother. We wake up feeling good.
7 TIPS TO GET YOUR KIDS TO SLEEP ALONE
1. REASON
Always give your kid a reason behind your action.
I used to say to him that “he is now a big boy, he is brave, etc.” But somehow, it didn’t work. Telling him the fact of his present existence isn’t really helpful.
Then, I tried to use a different approach, “blame others”. I told Jared, that the doctor wants mommy and daddy to sleep at mommy’s bed so baby could have a nice sleep without being possibly kicked by him. While daddy’s need to help mommy in case mommy need to pee at night. He somehow got this idea and let us sleep in our bedroom.
I am not suggesting you to tell any lies to your kids, give them more specific reason which weight on others than YOU, parents. Because kids, they are tend to regards others/strangers highly than their closest ones.
2. REWARD
It is time to congratulate them for their successful effort. By giving them a reward. A sticker, kinder egg, lollies, anything on their top list will do. Because who doesn’t love acknowledgement?! Even a small reward will help to boost the confidence of your minis.
I used to have a sleep tracker stuck on Jared’s bedroom wall. It’s a monthly calendar filled with stickers. 1 sticker for 1 successful night. Every night before bed I always point out to that “sleep track calendar” to remind him of how close he is from getting all the stickers collection.
3. REDUCE
If you happened to get used to stay at your kids room until they fell asleep, you might want to try to reduce your stay inside.
- Find an excuse to get out of their room with a promise to come back afterwards.
- Be specific in what you are going to do and when are you coming back.
For example: Mommy needs to throw some laundries to the drier, be back for 5 minutes. Mommy needs to use the toilet to do #2, I promise I’ll be finished in 5 minutes max. Mommy needs to call aunty XX to arrange our playdate tomorrow, be back in 7 minutes. Then, please make sure you’re back at the right time.
My point is this; try to reduce your stay inside your kids’ room to loosen the their attachment before sleep with you. Make them used to with the new (alone) environment.
Do this gradually. A drastic change may cause a shock to your child’s mental. Give time for your child to process the new forms and informations you are trying to implement in the house. Again, it’s all about the progress not the process. We’ve started with 3 minutes – 5 minutes – 10 minutes – standing on his door – 15 minutes – to not coming back because all we can hear is silent.
4. RELY ON THEM
Rely on their choices. They know what works best for them. They know what makes them comfortable most. Let them do it their way. Involve them in the process, count their opinions.
Every time (still today) before I leave the room, I always throw questions to Jared on how he would like to set the mood inside his room which will help him to send him help faster.
- do you want me to leave your water bottle next to you or may I take it with me?
- do you want me to cover your whole body with blanket or just your feet?
- do you want me to turn off or leave the lights on?
- do you want me to close or leave the door open?
I realised, by allowing Jared to has input in some of the minor decisions, he can begin to feel important and have confidence in their abilities to do so.
5. REINFORCE
Do not forget to send good vibes in the morning post a successful night.
“Mommy and Daddy had such a very good night, and baby were happy too.”
“Mommy is feeling really good this morning, can’t wait to have more fun with you.”
Give the positive credits to your kids as a reassurance of their brave action. “Because of you, I can ________________” (fill in the gap).
6. RESTRAINT
This is the hardest part. One night must be easy. The other nights must be super challenging. One thing to remember, stand on your ground. Restraint on your feet. Do not give in.
There were nights when I had to send him to his room back and forth 20 times; which were very frustrating both physical and emotional. There were nights I ended up raising my voice. BUT, I stand on my belief, that WE (Jared and mommy) can do this together. Both parents and kids need to support one another in order to succeed this challenge.
7. REPEAT
Repeat above steps again and again.
After approximately 60 days of training, consist of repetition of some bedtime routines (which I will post in details next week), we finally made it. Through this repetition, Jared was improved his confidence. The new routine had been set up. And we can’t be more proud and happier than this.
These routine is really helpful for me especially with the addition of the newborn in the house, I am able to get more works done around the house.
Above routine is best to apply for those of you who are not doing co-sleep. Including me, I and hubby chose to choose crib-sleep and keep our bed as our sanctuary. Read more about our crib-sleep journey here.
Above approach isn’t a sleep training, this is for toddlers who has been sleeping through the night without needing any bottle or still weaning. This does not requires a tough love. This requires a lot of patience, assurance, and explanations. Each toddler may not sit at the same level of readiness. Some toddlers, they need more time to adapt, while others may take it instantly.
Nonethless, one key to rememeber; is to keep doing it, and doing it right. You can’t do it for 3 days straight, then stop for the whole week. You gotta be consistent in implementing this new lifestyle.
If you find these tips helpful, leave your comments below. Or you might wanna share some of your tips too, I am more than happy to hear that. Happy trying!! May you have some good quality pillow talks with your partner. Time to mend the romance back. X
Love,
Kenny
mamaonrepeat.com 