#FASHIONFRIDAY : BLEU BLUE

These shots was taken last Sunday, straight after church. Because that is the only day when the whole family dress up well for the occasion. Oh yeah…we’re meeting Jesus, we’d better put our best attire on, right?!

It was raining that day, so we chose to wear something waterproof. Daddy and Mommy were up for some navy trench raincoat while Jared was looking cool with his feather printed blue jacket.

We had such an early departure from home, church was fun and amazing, then the kids were over-tired; they had some nap in the car while us, the parents had to eat some Chinese take away lunch in the car. You gotta do what you have to do, they said.

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We stopped by at the Hunters Hill skate park on the way home, and let Jared play his scooter there. 30 minutes later, he refused to go home. 45 minutes later, he started to negotiate with us. 60 minutes late, he accepted our bribe; McDonald’s run it was. Happy Meal to keep the kid happy.

Went straight back home and took some quick indoor casual family photos utilising the minimal lights inside our unit. NOW, ALL EYES ON US.

Last but not least enjoy some #thecuttingroomfloor from last week shooting – and let me introduce you to Jared; the over-achiever, cause there’s always one in the family, right?! Happy weekend guys! Enjoy your time with some lovelies. X

both are leaning on mommy; the "big" tower


// Kenny: Trench Coat (Sportscraft) , High Neck White Tee (SHEIN), Navy buttoned shirt (Zara), Denim Skirt (@bevnoir), Suede high knee boots (Zara) //
// Andri: Trench Coat (Topman), Navy sweat (Marcs), White tee & Black Jeans (H&M), Shoes (Vans) // 
// Jared: Feather Printed Bomber Jacket, White Sweater (Huxbaby), Black Pants (Uniqlo), Shoes (Vans) //
// Asher: Overall (Cotton On Kids), Bomber Jacket (Zara Kids), Beanie (Toshi), Socks (Jamie Kay) //

 

Love,

Kenny

7 RITUALS TO KEEP MY SANITY AS A MOTHER

I had a lot of questions from families and friends regarding my recent status as a mom of 2 boys;

how do you cope with 2 kids?

My classic answer would be – Yeah, I am fine! (while busy covering my boobs during feeding time and telling Jared to finish his lunch including the veggies).

The truth is – I AM NOT OKAY. I NEED HELP. I NEED AN ASSISTANT.

My motherhood journey aren’t always neat and beautiful as my Instagram/Pinterest feed. Some days are glorious. Some days are scabrous. Some days I win a lottery. Some days I lost my sanity.

Unlike my husband who had an above average EQ level. Mine is probably on the edge of the bottom line. I struggle with my patience a lot. However, I do not let this fact define who am I as a mom. I realised as a parent, we are the role model of our kids behaviour. Thus, it is very important for me to keep my physical and emotion being in front of my kids by keeping my sanity.

On a bad day; or when thing goes wrong. I do these 6 rituals to help me back to my rational state of mind.


1. STOP & BREATH 

Mom-hood is indeed a full on job from am to pm. Busy busy busy…it’s all I can say. I rarely find myself sitting on the couch with stretched leg. When the bub were finally asleep, your 3yo were calling you to be his sparring partner.

Mom-hood is selfless, you decide to put someone else’s need above yours. However, this would become a boomerang when we forget to maintain our health being. We may feel over-giving and lost to the occasion.

Being a mom is like having 3984 tabs opened at the same time. Your brain never stops working. Imagine if you never switch your computer to sleep mode or forget to format your hard disc. One day it hang randomly from overused/overloaded. Same thing with our brains, we gotta remind ourself to stop and breath. Your baby can cry for another 5 minutes without getting injured. Give yourself a space to restart your button. Lock yourself behind those pantry doors.

2. DRINK WATER

A new study found that drinking water can improve your mood.

Breastfeeding takes up a lot of my energy and time. It consumed me to a deeper emotion level sometimes while keeping up with a busy buzzy toddler. So, in order for me to win my everyday hustle, I have to keep myself hydrated. Drink a lot of water when things go wrong, let it cool the heat within me. Or probably

3. TURN ON SOME MUSIC

Music, more than any other art form, has the power to give me an immediate emotional hit. Everyone has a song that can instantly make them cry, or a tune they can’t help but dance to. Music is an easy way to manage not only our feelings, but how we function. At this point, I would do whatever helps to get my mojo back. SO TURN IT ON HIGH AND DANCE TO IT. And let the kids dance around too.

4. HAVE SHOWER

Having a warm bath helps me relaxed my tension muscles. But, hey mama, isn’t bath time is a luxury thing we get to do most of the days?! Yes, it is! When I can’t fit myself to the shower, at least I manage myself to wash my face and both hands. And let this warm water does its magic to my mood.

5. PHONE A FRIEND

You need to let it out. Let me clear it up once again. YOU NEED TO SAY IT LOUD. that you are having such a crap day. do not keep it for yourself. let the world knows you are not okay today. Trash that negative vibes out of your mind, mouth, and body. I guarantee it will instantly ease your burden. SAY IT LOUD OR WRITE IT CLEAR!

Get some confirmations that you are not alone on this. Get your tribe to cheer you up and shower you with word of affirmations and encouragements.

6. WORD

Before I ended my day and labelled it a “bad day” – let me get back to His word. All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right – 2 Timothy 3:16 (NLT)

His word gives me perspective while the world gives me an objection. And I choose that WHO AM I IS DEFINED BY THE WORD NOT THE WORLD. I am wonderful and beautiful, I am called to do this, He equips and enables me to finish the task.

7. GET SOME SLEEP 

Last but not least, cuddle your precious bears and rest with them together. Forget the laundries and dishes. Leave the toys & crumbs on the ground. Do not put so much pressure on your shoulders. Enjoy the cuddles for a little longer before they outgrown your hugs, kisses and bed. 😉


Keeping my sanity is very important for me. I believe of our capacity to love others is determined through our contentment about ourself. Our feelings are transcend through our action. And kids, they are able to feel our pain and disappointment.

Everyday I want to learn to love myself better and to love my kids deeper. May you also have the same desire. And again I remind you, that it is okay to be not okay. You are human and you are normal. Ask for help TODAY by clicking the links below: (no way sponsored)

Beyond Blue

R U OK

LIFELINE

 

Love,

Kenny

ASHER LIONEL TJUNG

ASHER LIONEL TJUNG – The Easter Baby

July 1, 2018 // 03.20AM // 4.045kg // 53cm


As I heard the his first cry, my heart skipped a bit. What?! Was this even real? I just gave life to a new human. He made such an entrance to the earth. And I am his mother. I fell in love once again. At the first sight….

As the days are approaching, we had a feeling that this baby will make an early debut before his due date for some reason. Since week 36/37 I constantly experience such a strong brixton hicks. Around week 38 – I had some mild cramps with various intervals, I noticed some mucus plug dislodges from my cervix for 4 days in a row with no blood showing. And as I was entering week 39, I felt lightening; where as though I have more room to breathe as the baby laid down low on my bladder, and I felt less movements of the baby; which are normal as the baby’s head got engaged, and still mild cramps.

Thursday, 29th March 2018

I woke up at 7am as usual, feeling excited that maybe today could be the day I get to see my baby. I talked to my baby (my own tummy in real life) every morning, and happy to feel some kicks and hiccups. But, today, it seemed a little odd, no matter how hard or frequent I rubbed my tummy, I didn’t feel any response. I felt no movement of the baby. I waited till mid day, and still nothing changed. I tried to stay positive to calm myself down. Then, I waited a little longer till my husband came home from work. Again, nothing changed. This time, I couldn’t help myself, my brain’s racing, my heart’s screaming, was it what it was? was the baby okay? was the baby sleeping? was the baby still alive? We rang the hospital and they asked us to come for a check up. We dropped off Jared at my aunt’s place and head straight to the hospital.

9.20PM – We arrived at the hospital and I was placed in one of the birthing room, they checked the baby’s movement. She gave me some iced water to wake up the baby too. It took quite some times to wake up the baby. UNTIL…finally he made a little kick. Then it gets more frequent and harder. We were so relieved to feel those punches and kicks again, because we know the baby’s okay. He’s there alive. Praise God!! No nightmare tonight! and we were happy to be sent back home after a boring and long 3 hours TENS monitoring.

Friday, 30th March 2018

1AM – We arrived at home and had the bed for only two of us that night. Because we let Jared stayed over at my aunt’s place. That was a bliss night for me, just what I needed before the second baby arrive.

9AM – We went to the airport to pick up my mom and my brother who flew from Indonesia the night before. They came here to help me taking care of the house plus Jared while we’re in the hospital. Then, we had our usual Friday going. We took the families out for some walks and dinner. We had some good quality times together.

Saturday, 31st March 2018

2.25AM – I was lounging on my bad catching up on some K-dramas, when suddenly I felt something popped inside my lower tummy. It wasn’t painful, it was distinct. I didn’t know what it was. I reached my pants, it’s completely dry. My mind rushed 1000 miles trying to figured out what it was. 3 seconds later, I suddenly felt a gushed of warm fluid came through my pants. My water broke. I had one of the midwife broke my water with my first pregnancy, so I didn’t expect to experience water break at home and how it sounds or feels or looks like in my mind. I just can’t. Well, I didn’t want to scare myself. But, it happened this time round. I wet my bed, the floor, all the way to my bathroom. Then, we packed our hospital bags, left the house straight to the hospital.

3.15AM – I laid down on one of the hospital bed got while they monitored the baby’s movement. While they’re examining my water discharge. Its pale pink colour and odourless with tiny amount of blood which is very normal, nothing to worry about. BUT, no contraction yet! For this reason, I was sent back home again for another 12 hours.

3.00PM – Arrived back for the third time in the hospital with no signs of labour. It’s tiring. It’s frustrating. 3 false alarms in 2 days were a bit too much. We had our hopes fluctuate here and there. It felt sucks. 😦

Next minute, the midwife came in to our room, she’s telling us to get induced the next morning 6AM. This was the last thing I wanna hear at this moment. I knew how painful it was to get induced, it was shocking and extremely painful. I were not prepared and Jared was unhappy and stressful. Read more on Jared’s birth story. Even though the case was different with my previous pregnancy, induction were still needed to reduce the risk of infection increases dramatically upon baby. So, I left the hospital with a heavy heart. I was scared and worried if I can possibly bear the extreme pain ever again?! As I was planning to brave myself with unmedicated birth this time. I have a birth plan ready to roll. And I know I can do it this time.

5.30PM – I started to feel some mild contractions every 30-45 minutes. as it’s getting stronger, I chose to distract my mind with food. We had a family feast dinner that night at my place celebrating Easter Eve.

9.30PM – the contractions were getting more intense with 15 minutes interval. However, it is still bearable. Then, I prepared myself for bed 2 hours later, jumped onto bed with my phone around 11.20PM

11.50PM – I felt one long horrible contractions, I even (literally) jumped out off my bed. I lost words and gave a hand-sign to Andri that “things are getting real!” then suddenly I felt the urge to poo. But, I refused to take off my undies. I was much aware of having the baby out at that moment with no professional assistance. My first labour lasted for 7 hours, then I thought this one would be done really quick. Let’s get on the freakin car right now!! While Andri’s on the phone with the midwife, I got myself ready and packed my belongings. Then, suddenly I heard Andri told me that we had to wait a bit longer because the hospital was full that night. #notodaydevil “I AM ABOUT TO POPPED! GIVE ME A ROOM!” – I lost it. I grabbed the phone and told her, I AM GOING THERE. This is my second, I can’t wait any longer. Then, she agreed. GAH.

Sunday, 1st April

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12.25AM – We arrived at the hospital with one room “just” ready for us. We came in and I laid down on the bed. I took off my pants and undies straight away, getting myself comfortable. Alright….the contractions were getting stronger and stronger. And I was trying my best to keep stay positive throughout the pains and calm myself down by having a deep breath in between. Then, I changed position; on knees with my upper body leaned against the raised back of the hospital bed. I found this position worked best for me as I leaned forward with my hip opened, it  actually encouraged the baby to rotate; his face facing my tailbone which means it would reduced the pressure on my tailbone. As it’s get more intense, it was hard to stay calm so I took the epigas. OH MAY GOD! Whoever invented epigas, you are one genius, it was so damn good! I am grateful for you and wanted to celebrate you! It helped me through my rough & rocky stromy hours. You showed up your magic on every deep breath I take.

“You’re 8 cm dilated, great job Kenny!” said the midwife. “Damn!! I lost my chance to get the freaking epidural.” I regretted. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this…..” I murmured to Andri. I lost count on how many times I said this very word. My brain sent me many bundle of limit signals. But it’s funny that my body were doing vice versa, its getting more stable; making a way for the baby to come out.

3:20AM – Next minute, I felt the baby crowning. Yeah baby…I were onto the next position – ready to push. SO did the midwives. Then suddenly, Andri saw the tip of the baby’s head, the next 2 pushes, ASHER LIONEL TJUNG WAS OUT EARTHSIDE with us. Andri cut the cord for the first time, he didn’t get a chance to during the birth of Jared due to some emergency health issue. Read more on Jared’s birth story. What a quick and smooth delivery it was. We were both so joyful and grateful to be trusted with another perfect little chunky man. Last part was pushing my placenta out. It’s easily done smoothly, yet they examined that I experienced quite severe tear after delivery. Asher is a big baby, and it’s common for women who deliver vaginally end up with tear in their perineum that extends to or through the rectum. Unfortunately, in my case, it was slightly bigger than expected, I experienced a third degree perineal tear. It needed to be treated under minor surgery.

6.30AM – I came back to the birthing room after having an one hour operation, reunited with my little boy. I got to cuddle him was the best thing I could ask for in the world.


I was proud of myself for pulling this unmedicated birthing journey off bravely. Despite of the doubts and fears which were creeping in halfway of the journey. It’s been my desire to try an unmedicated birthing process. And I did it. I COULDN’T BE MORE PROUD OF MYSELF, even though I still had the local anaesthetic injection for my third degree tear treatment, I AM STILL PROUD. By His grace and great supporters around me during the process. I finally made it. Thanks husband for sacrificing your hands as my stress relieve ball. Thanks to all RNSH midwives for ensuring me for my good works and guiding me through my darkest hours.

Asher was very stable and calm during the labour. Unlike my first experience with Jared. Also he made a pretty quick entrance to the world. I am so grateful for him. Such a perfect chunky little man. He injected a pile amount of joy the moment I laid my eyes on him. He’s the real meaning of his own name (Asher means happy). My body was tore but my heart was mended fully. My life is beyond blessed.

YES! This is our family of four. It’s going to be interesting to watch, we believe. 2 boys, 1 man and 1 outnumbered lady. THE TJUNG SQUAD is ready to tackle the world. X

 

 

 

Love,

Kenny

3 TOP TIPS HOW TO TAKE YOUR OWN NEWBORN PHOTOGRAPHY TO THE NEXT LEVEL

The time you bringing your newborn baby home is simply one of the most wonderful moments in life!

The newborn days are so precious, yet so fleeting. I appreciate how quickly the days pass by and how sweet every little details are. This is why I decided to start taking more pictures of my little ones since the early days of their existence.

While some has the opt to hire a professional photographer to seal the first moments of their new bub. Some are beyond excited to get behind the camera themselves.

I know as a first time mom, delivering and nurturing a child is a big project already. How can I get my hands on the deck for some details’ photo?! It is undeniable hard work. But, trust me, every click is worth captured.

So, today I am going to share my 3 TOP TIPS – how to make your own home session newborn photography experience an enjoyable and stress-free one for both bub and you.

1. TIMING

One of the benefits of photographing your own newborn is that time is on your side. Having your own home session newborn photography isn’t the nearly best or even easiest option you could do. It at least gives you more flexibility. 

Unlike a client based photography, which is limited to 3-4 hours window to work on a varied gallery. Own home session allows you to work on the project for days, or even weeks. Remember! You just delivered a baby, your body is still recovering. So, do not rush.

Other than that, having a choice to decide the best timing for your bub to do the shoot is also important. “Happy bub, happy life.” Based on my experience, morning session, between breakfast and lunch is the best timing to do the shoot where most babies are mostly settle well during this time. Who’s agree with me?

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2. LIGHTING

Unlike having a studio based photo session, working from home means limited space and equipment. This includes lighting. Many of us do not have additional lighting in house. Natural lighting is our best friend – the sun. This will make or break the deal.

It is in the sky above us. Therefore, seeing a person who is lit from below is very unnatural looking. We definitely do not want to see our babies to look like they belong in a horror-flick.

We are looking for a nice soft-shadows and highlights for the shot. Have the light flows from baby’s head to feet at approximately a 45 degree angle. SO, lighting is everything. BUT, do not overuse it! Please do not uplight your baby.

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3. EXPERIMENTING

The other benefit of having your own newborn photo session is having opportunities to try new things. You will be surprised by the magic a photo could bring.

Play with some angles and perspectives. Do not rush in re-positioning your baby, instead try to getting up and moving around to get some unique details.

Utilise different corners in your house. You do not need extra props to get a dynamic photo, find a new “lit” spot with a plain background will be another way to get a stunning photo.

Involve the siblings, relatives, and yourself in the photo. Make these moments memorable for the whole families.

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Photographing your own newborn can be challenging but also so very rewarding.

The days are long but the years are short. In a blink of eyes, you would find yourself chauffeuring to school and sport carnivals, teaching them how to drive, sending them to college, witnessing their marriage. So today, while you can, enjoy your baby! Live in a moment and capture the magical of each second.

 

Love,

Kenny

 

OUR STORY – LAST BUMPDATE BABY #2

Hey humpday!

I am still here in front of my laptop and sipping my second cup of raspberry leaf tea of the day, hoping that it will help the natural inducing process. However, bub has another say, he enjoys being inside mum’s tummy a lil longer. WELL, SO BE IT!! I believe he will come out at the right time when he is ready.

So, let’s move on… today I am going to share my latest bumpdate at #39 weeks and 3 days.


SYMPTOMS

First thing first, let’s celebrate that my baby is officially considered full term! Yeah we made it! We gotta celebrate every small wins in life, aren’t we?

Bub is as big as watermelon. Weight around 3.2 kgs according to the pregnancy application I have been using this time round.

As my bump grows each inch, so does my level of discomfort. Often times, people misrecognized that I’m carrying twins. And no offense, I am totally fine with the statement. I would be more than happy to carry twin girls in the future. Ha. I cannot stand more than 10 minutes. I cannot sit more than 10 minutes. I cannot lie down more than 10 minutes. Every move seems like a dead-end at this point. I have to keep changing positions in order to avoid backache.

I feel a lot lighten at this stage, because the baby has dropped and settled deeper into my pelvis (not fully; getting there). I can breathe more easily than before. Because pressure on my diaphragm has been relieved. As pay-back though, I feel more pressure on my bladder, which means more trip to the bathroom. Especially during night time. However, I read once on the internet this week, way to reduce night trips to the bathroom is by avoiding to take sip of liquid right before you go to bed. And it worked!! So, please keep this in mind all expectant mama.

Stronger and more frequent Braxton hicks contractions, which is commonly known as “false” or “practice” contractions. Braxton Hicks are a tightening in your abdomen that comes and goes. They are contractions of your uterus in preparation for giving birth. For a first time mama, you may or may not notice these events. However, if you do so, don’t get panic. Stay calm, the baby may not come out anytime soon. It could be days or weeks away.

While some women experience insomnia during their third tri-semester. That has never been my case, I am blessed with the ability to sleep anytime anywhere I feel like doing so.

My physical body is getting moody. I would feel very sick some days and very energetic on the other days.

Last but not least, I am on nesting mode most of the days with loaded snacks near me. Don’t judge please.

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Clothing

Honestly, this is not my favourite topic to share with. I am comfortably living in my maternity bra, and pyjamas all day at home. When I go out, I prefer to wear one-piece dress than two pieces (maternity legging or jeans and oversized tops). I move more freely with a dress than two-pieces. I have less than 10 options for my daily go-to outfit (mostly dresses). They are from ASOS and H&M. They are made of good fabric and fit me perfectly. For more safety and support for your growing bump, get a maternity shapewear under your dress. It will help you hold the weight of your bump.


Nursery

Latest update on this matter; I decided to go with modern Nordic style, majorly playing with monochrome color; black, white, and grey.

And accidentally, I bought many bear wall and room decorations for baby #2 for no reason, other than I found them cute and trendy. Some are hanged on the wall and styled already, some are still sitting on the box. So, by saying that, I would say the nursery isn’t 100% done; more than halfway done I supposed. And honestly, it doesn’t bother me at all, since we decided to let baby #2 to sleep on bassinet next to our bed for the first few months of adjustment before we transfer him to his own room for a sleep training.

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Alright…that’s all for today! I just finished my last sip of tea and I guess I’m feeling it. Yesssss the early contractions. Is it gonna be my last bumpdate for sure?! Ha. Wish us luck. X

 

 

Love,

Kenny

THE WORTH OF MATERNITY PHOTOS

It has been a bliss to carry this bun inside my uterus for the past 8 months. And again! I am still stoked of woman’s body; its ability to grow and nurture life. And to realise that it is my own body, it even make it more special to me. I AM BLESSED to experience pregnancies at my age.

For that reason, I am so determined to do maternity shots this time round. I didn’t have one with my firstborn for some and many reasons. And honestly, I do regret for that matter. The more I think about maternity photos, the more I feel that it is worth it to have one. And here’s why?

Celebrate your body

Since the first day, the sperm met the egg, your body has been gearing hard with many adjustments and changes; big and small. For that reason, your body deserves a celebration. 10 months of carrying a watermelon is surely a hard work. So, throw the biggest celebration to your own body. Its doing really well.

Pregnancy is evanescent

I know how the last 4 weeks of pregnancy feels like. It feels like one year or forever. But, hey! the moment the baby’s out, you will surely miss this pregnancy; the burs, the punches, the kicks, the bloats, the heartburns, the craves, the connections. Nothing compares to the deep connection build within a mother and her womb.

Pregnancy is magical

I would say this again and again. Pregnancy is one of the most enchanted moment I have ever experienced. The fertile and maternal glow of a pregnant woman is so beautiful and sexy, I wish more people will see this. Despite the weight gain, stretch marks, hyper-pigmentation or whatever else you’re dealing with, there’s something so strong, maternal and radiant about a pregnant woman.

So, what about you? Are you thinking to have one too? I hope you do and won’t be left with the same regrets like me.

Beyond that, I hope every woman will truly embrace her inner goddess and let them shine!

Thanking my talented husband for taking these stunning photos of us. He is truly the best! He is a keeper, isn’t he? Below we share our moments. enjoy!! x

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Love,

Kenny

OUR STORY – SECOND BUMPDATE

 

Hello homestretch!

First, let me admit it; I am poor at counting. This blog is about my second bumpdate of the pregnancy, even though, I have passed the second tri-semester phase.

YES! I am currently #33weeks pregnant. Things started to get very real. It gets to my nerves every single night before I close my eyes. It feels surreal as i’m writing this article.


Symptoms

The third trimester revealed a wide range of new (and not very nice) symptoms.

This Baby is as big as honeydew melon and the belly was starting to resemble a basket ball.

I experiences leg cramps often in the morning, so that, I was forced to take my morning very slow and low.

I have this very “weird” crave that only happens every Monday; after breakfast, I have to have an hour cat-nap before I could really start my day. It’s been going on for the past month, and i can’t run from it (right after breakfast, my head feels heavy spinning and my eyes goes weak). I can not find any specific explanation on this symptom still. Is there anyone of you experience the similar symptom? Please raise your hands and ease my curiosity.

I still get my beauty sleep – NO insomnia for me. Hallelujah….

Midnight bathroom runs are rapidly increasing.

Sometimes, my brain goes blank while I’m driving, hence nowadays, I always try my best to avoid long-driving.

Swollen feet appearing since last week.


Clothing

Dressing your bump always become a challenge for me since week 15 or so. The moment I entered the second tri-semester, I opted for oversized t-shirt dresses. Thank God for ASOS and Zara, they have great range of clothing which keep me cool during summer in Sydney.

At this stage forward, with 6 weeks approaching to the the arrival of baby #2, I decided to rotate my clothing more often, I pretty much live in basic tee/dress or pj’s shorts while I’m working home-based.


Nursery 

Even though, I am NOT a first-time parent, I do still find nursery decor is a BIG thing to me. It requires a lot of research and planning in order for you to achieve the look and feel you are desiring for. So far, I have got one third of the room done, assembled the cot and put up some wall prints. What else to add? Shout out on the comment. Tag or share a shop link below. All suggestions and ideas are welcomed here.

Overall this second pregnancy flew by, and I can’t wait to update you all on the last week of my journey with baby #2.

 

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Love,

Kenny

MOMMY MONSTER SYMPTOMS

Does the Mommy Monster show up at your house on occasion? When the Mommy Monster yells, her anger affects the whole family. Last year I began to realize she was showing up at my house more than I was comfortable with. Every time she visits the house, suddenly the whole house atmosphere changes; cold and dark. When I examined what dynamics brought the appearance of the Mommy Monster, I realized that my unrealistic expectations were contributing to my craziness. I was not accurately estimating my children’s actual abilities. Bottom line: I WAS EXPECTING TOO MUCH TOO SOON.

Bottom line: I WAS EXPECTING TOO MUCH TOO SOON.

I WAS EXPECTING TOO MUCH TOO SOON

I remembered my lowest point as a mother last year, when I feel so lost, negative, unmotivated, hurtful, and helpless. I was applying rules, boundaries and time-out to my two-year-old. I was training my toddler to sleep through the night on his own room. I just started my small business. I was trying to conceive at the same time. (Read more of my struggle to conceive on Our Story – First Bumpdate)

However, the realities were revolved in contrast.

I was frustrated with with my two-year-old constantly pushing the limits, I was caught up in countless night soothings and sleep deprived. I barely saw any progress/prospects on my new business. I threw many pregnancy tests with one line (-) results.

This well intentioned mom was not accurately estimating her child’s actual abilities nor her own body actual abilities. She expecting too much too soon, which resulted in added stress for herself and her child. Yeahhh…that summed up my life a year ago perfectly. THAT’S ME you are talking about.

I overestimate my child’s ability to exercise self-control, to stay focused on a task, and to handle social situations. It’s normal for a two-year-old to get upset if he doesn’t get something he wants. It’s normal for a three-year-old to lose it if there’s a change in his bedtime routine. It’s normal to see zero progress in the beginning years of your business. It’s normal for my body to have some times to get ready for some major changes.

I LOSE PERSPECTIVE OF WHAT IS NORMAL

Too often, I let my own impatience take the lead and I scold with an angry voice because deep down I expect them to act better than they are. I lose perspective of what is normal behaviour for their age and stage of development. I get angry because they don’t live up to my off-the-charts expectations, and then Mommy Monster shows up full force.

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BE STILL

I did not realize that I was being overestimating/ overreacting until my husband told me “Calm down, he’s just turned two…” Often times, I forget the most powerful thing in life; the power of stillness. 

When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world. — Eckhart Tolle

There are times for every thing under the heaven; there are times to plant, there are times to harvest, there are times for winter, there are times for summer. Expect something too soon will only give us unripe fruits. Be still and know that God is working relentlessly on behalf of our well intentioned.

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14

Today, I am happier mom. I rarely see the Mommy Monster around the house. I finally had my beauty sleep back because Jared has successfully achieved another milestone in conquering his fear; sleeping through the night on his own bed like a boss. I am growing another human inside my belly. I got my creativity back and found some good networks for the business.

I am uberly excited for this year! BYE MOMMY MONSTER! I hate you as much as I love you. X

If any of you could relate to any of this drama, I just wanted to encourage you to sit back and take a deep breath, count one to ten, then let your mind to rest for while. Everything is gonna be okay. The day will come to pass. It is normal to feel this way, but you are never alone in this tough gig. You are made for this!!

 

Love,

Kenny

7 PREGNANCY BATTLES AND BLESSINGS

There is a promise for every battle

Life is “battle and blessing”

When we are in a battle it is hard to believe that it will ever to come to an end. When we are in a period of blessing we sometimes expect it will go on forever. But life is not like that. There are battles and blessings.

It’s not a secret that our family is struggling to conceive this 2nd baby. But, at the end, it happened. This process has taught me a lesson; that life always being on two tracks, battles and blessings. At any given moment in life there are usually blessings, but also battles to face. It is all about perspective. At the end of the day, your perspective towards life will determine your way of living.

While I am battling with the uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms, I am more assured of  bigger blessings/healthier baby God is knitting inside my womb.

My 7 Pregnancy Battles and Blessings

  1. Morning sickness – Whoever came up with this symptom’s name, he/she must not been pregnant before. Ha. Seriously… It doesn’t only happen in the morning. literally. It may visit you at any times of the day or perhaps it goes ALL DAY long for the entire 40 weeks. With my 2nd pregnancy, I experienced worse morning sickness than previous one. It often hits at night time before bed, or the when I was in the hot shower. What a good timing…(says no mum ever). HOWEVER, these continuous events boost my confidence that the baby’s growing healthy inside my womb, especially during the risky first 12 weeks of his life.
  2. Growing bust and breast – My bras are suffocating me. That’s what I feel every day. My bra size went 2 sizes up the moment I reached my 2nd tri-semester. And still going up today. HOWEVER, I am glad knowing that my breasts are working hard and its best in storing up some good produce milk for my long awaiting newborn. So today, #nobra is my my favourite state of life. 😉
  3. Changing hormones – Mood swing game strong. I cried a lot over tiny mistakes. I got really annoyed over small things. Often it creates a dark atmosphere in the house, and affect everyone else in the house. Then again I feel guilty. It’s a constant battle to control your own emotions and behaviours towards others, HOWEVER, I feel grateful for this learning ground to practice my patience and self-control. FYI, I prays a lot God please help me to get through the day. 
  4. Stretchmarks – I have tried many different methods to avoid stretch-marks but my skins cracked anyway. Then, I feel ugly and loose my confident. HOWEVER, the more I see other moms posting their postpartum belly, I realised that its like a free permanent tattoo on your tummy symbolising life and love. It is truly precious and beautiful.Csection-Photography-31
  5. Urine leeking – WHAT?! I peed myself?! I can’t help it. It’s embarrassing. HOWEVER, the pressure of the growing uterus on the bladder is the indication of my baby growing bigger and stronger accordingly. No complaints.
  6. Forgetful brains – Dang…I left my keys in the house again! Call hubby to come to rescue. HOWEVER, I am grateful for this “pregnancy brain”, it is the season where I need to learn to SLOW DOWN and do things one at a time.
  7. Siblings changing behaviour – This one kills me slowly day by day. My 3 year old son cries a lot than ever. He wants mommy more than ever. He behaves ridiculously silly more than ever. He needs mommy to carry him more than ever. I am tired. HOWEVER, on the other hand, I am glad to have all the cuddles and kisses exclusively all by myself. So, I choose to enjoy this tough moments.

I am HAPPY where I AM today. Despite of the constant battles I have to face everyday, all of them are truly blessings in disguise to me. I am so READY for the next season with my 2 boys. It’s gonna be fun and more rough (slightly)…

Wish me luck. X

 

Love,

Kenny

 

 

 

DRESS YOUR BUMP IN ALL ONE COLOR

It’s the easiest way to get dressed in the morning. 

There is no secret trick to wearing monochromatic outfits. As long as you have tops, bottoms, and accessories in the same color (different shades of the color work too), dressing in all one hue is super simple and looks really chic.

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Well, since I am pregnant, let’s keep wearing BLACK. The instinct of most pregnant woman is to dress in dark colors, such as black or navy, because they think it makes them looks slimmer. “But, color actually really flatters your body,” says one of my fashionista friend.

Yesterday, I had a chance to date my best guy again. So, I gave it this style a try. AND I AM LOVING IT. I feel beautiful and slightly slimmer than my actual current body weight. so….here it is!! MY “BUMP STYLE IN ALL ONE COLOR” VERSION.

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UHHHHH YES! Comfort is still on my top list. Baggy tops and loose pants. These combo are most probably the only basics that fit my body these days. And I have no regrets to collect many of them. They are easy to pair with anything in any season. Most say “bigger clothes will make you looks larger during pregnancy”. And I do agree with the statement. So, I decided to wear my favourite mules to give slimmer illusion to my body. It’s a hot day with my hot date. Heels, you do good, you won’t hurt me. Casually pair them with a similar color sling bag then finish it off with a big statement; sailor cap and jumbo hula hoops. (Some outfits are from old collections of the brand, I attached the “shop similar” link below).

Well, that’s my whole look. Now, it’s time to vote. YAY or NAY? leave your comments below. I am being serious. X

Love,

Kenny

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tops & pants : Zara trf // mules : Senso // sling bag : Decjuba // baker boy cap : ASOS

Shop Similar

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