I had a lot of questions from families and friends regarding my recent status as a mom of 2 boys;
how do you cope with 2 kids?
My classic answer would be – Yeah, I am fine! (while busy covering my boobs during feeding time and telling Jared to finish his lunch including the veggies).
The truth is – I AM NOT OKAY. I NEED HELP. I NEED AN ASSISTANT.
My motherhood journey aren’t always neat and beautiful as my Instagram/Pinterest feed. Some days are glorious. Some days are scabrous. Some days I win a lottery. Some days I lost my sanity.
Unlike my husband who had an above average EQ level. Mine is probably on the edge of the bottom line. I struggle with my patience a lot. However, I do not let this fact define who am I as a mom. I realised as a parent, we are the role model of our kids behaviour. Thus, it is very important for me to keep my physical and emotion being in front of my kids by keeping my sanity.
On a bad day; or when thing goes wrong. I do these 6 rituals to help me back to my rational state of mind.
1. STOP & BREATH
Mom-hood is indeed a full on job from am to pm. Busy busy busy…it’s all I can say. I rarely find myself sitting on the couch with stretched leg. When the bub were finally asleep, your 3yo were calling you to be his sparring partner.
Mom-hood is selfless, you decide to put someone else’s need above yours. However, this would become a boomerang when we forget to maintain our health being. We may feel over-giving and lost to the occasion.
Being a mom is like having 3984 tabs opened at the same time. Your brain never stops working. Imagine if you never switch your computer to sleep mode or forget to format your hard disc. One day it hang randomly from overused/overloaded. Same thing with our brains, we gotta remind ourself to stop and breath. Your baby can cry for another 5 minutes without getting injured. Give yourself a space to restart your button. Lock yourself behind those pantry doors.
2. DRINK WATER
A new study found that drinking water can improve your mood.
Breastfeeding takes up a lot of my energy and time. It consumed me to a deeper emotion level sometimes while keeping up with a busy buzzy toddler. So, in order for me to win my everyday hustle, I have to keep myself hydrated. Drink a lot of water when things go wrong, let it cool the heat within me. Or probably
3. TURN ON SOME MUSIC
Music, more than any other art form, has the power to give me an immediate emotional hit. Everyone has a song that can instantly make them cry, or a tune they can’t help but dance to. Music is an easy way to manage not only our feelings, but how we function. At this point, I would do whatever helps to get my mojo back. SO TURN IT ON HIGH AND DANCE TO IT. And let the kids dance around too.
4. HAVE SHOWER
Having a warm bath helps me relaxed my tension muscles. But, hey mama, isn’t bath time is a luxury thing we get to do most of the days?! Yes, it is! When I can’t fit myself to the shower, at least I manage myself to wash my face and both hands. And let this warm water does its magic to my mood.
5. PHONE A FRIEND
You need to let it out. Let me clear it up once again. YOU NEED TO SAY IT LOUD. that you are having such a crap day. do not keep it for yourself. let the world knows you are not okay today. Trash that negative vibes out of your mind, mouth, and body. I guarantee it will instantly ease your burden. SAY IT LOUD OR WRITE IT CLEAR!
Get some confirmations that you are not alone on this. Get your tribe to cheer you up and shower you with word of affirmations and encouragements.
Before I ended my day and labelled it a “bad day” – let me get back to His word. All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right – 2 Timothy 3:16 (NLT)
His word gives me perspective while the world gives me an objection. And I choose that WHO AM I IS DEFINED BY THE WORD NOT THE WORLD. I am wonderful and beautiful, I am called to do this, He equips and enables me to finish the task.
7. GET SOME SLEEP
Last but not least, cuddle your precious bears and rest with them together. Forget the laundries and dishes. Leave the toys & crumbs on the ground. Do not put so much pressure on your shoulders. Enjoy the cuddles for a little longer before they outgrown your hugs, kisses and bed. 😉
Keeping my sanity is very important for me. I believe of our capacity to love others is determined through our contentment about ourself. Our feelings are transcend through our action. And kids, they are able to feel our pain and disappointment.
Everyday I want to learn to love myself better and to love my kids deeper. May you also have the same desire. And again I remind you, that it is okay to be not okay. You are human and you are normal. Ask for help TODAY by clicking the links below: (no way sponsored)
R U OK