MOTHERHOOD TRAP

Well, finally they were asleep… Where should I start?

Expectation: 1) clean the crumbs on the floor, disinfect the high chair 2) load the laundries onto washing machine 3) cook dinner 5) wash the dishes 6) clean the toilet 7) hang the laundries 8) tidy up the toys.

Reality: 1) make a warm cuppa 2) sit on my favourite couch 3) fashion magz and iPhone on both hands until I hear the weird noise from the other room.

Gap: Motherhood Trap


Yes, this is motherhood trap

The feeling to be and do everything, all the time. Oh I am serious on this! This feeling is toxically good. I mean on one side you may feel superior for becoming the primary carer for the house/family. However, on the other side you may end up burning yourself up with responsibilities.

NOPE! I refuse to be overwhelmed with my role as a mother. Motherhood is supposed to be enjoyed, not endured. Often times the gap between our expectation and the reality is getting bigger and bigger. And if you’ve never decided to address and treat this issue well, this will only trigger the crap out of you. Because you will always feel defeated by your situation which eventually will crack you under pressure.

Because hey mummas…. It’s a world of contrasts. We’re being pulled in a thousand different directions everyday; having a battle between being a mum or a cook, a mum or a cleaner, being a mum or career woman, a mum or a wife ALL DAY LONG. Perhaps, I should put it this way, we are literally trapped in a several worlds, holding the laundry basket on hip, walking the puppies, holding it all together and there is no way of pleasing everyone.

Yes, this is motherhood trap

It is complicated – new mums, if only we can simply sleep while the baby sleeps. For me, I know that is the only time I can get my things done (households and works). Everyday is full of choices and sacrifices. And with each choice came, unbidden, a sense of guilt or regret or anxiety: Maybe I should have played with the kids instead of cooking dinner? Maybe I should have tidied the house instead of having a lie-down?

Yes, this is motherhood trap

There is no way we can avoid this situation. BUT, there some ways we can rise up to the occasions. So, let me share 2 TRUTHS ABOUT YOU, MUM:

1. You are a capable mother NOT a perfect mother

A mother can do anything but not everything. Always keep in your mind that you can not get everything on top of you. Do things one at a time, by following these steps:

  • Make a day to day to-do-list to simplify your tasks (categorise them based on your priorities),
  • cross each task you have done, and
  • do a quick review at night, lastly
  • celebrate every small wins you have done in a day.

2. What you do today will never devalue your identity as a mother 

Whatever choices you make today come with consequences. Never feel less about yourself. Believe on what you choose is for the benefits of the family. And in case you just had a bad day, please don’t milk it for too long. Stop a moment, take a deep breath and move on. You’ve still got many mothering things to do.

THUS…LET’S CLIMB OUT OF THIS MOTHERHOOD TRAP

 

Love,

Kenny